I've often surmised that when you really, really want to be pregnant it becomes really easy to overthink everything. I know it was true for me. After my miscarriages when I was suddenly so fixated on getting pregnant again, I would do everything that could be done to track ovulation and to test as early as possible.

One of the areas in which couples try to plan and strategize is in the timing of sexual intercourse for the highest pregnancy odds. And in the past, one recommended strategy had been to abstain for a few days to build up a high quantity of sperm. According to an article in USA Today, however, researchers have found that the best sperm quality actually comes from daily sex for about a week prior to ovulation. When couples had daily intercourse the sperm had less frequent genetic mutations, which the researchers surmised could be due to less exposure to oxygen.

I thought the finding was interesting. Given that genetic mutations are believed to be a key cause of miscarriages, it would be interesting if a future study would look at whether frequency of sex affects risk of miscarriage. The article did note that this particular study did not compare the frequency of sex to actual pregnancy rates, but rather to simply improving the quality of the sperm (but other studies have shown correlations between sperm quality and pregnancy rates).

It's becoming a kind of a pet peeve of mine when I read articles about purported miscarriage myths. Most of these articles consist of lists of so-called myths about what does and doesn't cause miscarriages, which is a noble enough goal, but quite often these types of articles end up simply creating new myths.

The specific example I am thinking of is the claim that it is a myth that stress is linked to risk of miscarriage. Now, it is quite true that no one has proven that stress causes miscarriages, but the idea can't rightly be called a myth either. There is actually a good pile of research linking stress and biological stress markers to miscarriages. But that research could ultimately mean a lot of different things. It is possible that ultimately some sort of link will be found between stress and some miscarriages (and also possible that no link will ever be found).

But just because there is no proven causal link, does that mean we can call the stress-miscarriage link a "myth"? I don't think so. I think "myth" carries the implication that something that is not true, and this is something that might or might not be true, so it is misleading to say it is a myth.

That being said, I can see the conundrum in reporting about it. It is hard to talk about stuff like stress and miscarriages because there is already such a tendency toward self blame among moms (been there, done that). Any implication that stress might be linked to miscarriage can add fuel to that fire, leading moms who were stressed at the time of their miscarriages to assume that was the cause and blame themselves (even though any potential link that might someday be found would probably affect only a small minority of miscarriages). At the same time, I think that outright refusal to consider the possibility only does moms a disservice. If there is a link between stress and miscarriages, and that's a big if, I think it is better to know about and understand the link than to pretend it doesn't exist.

Anyway, that's my rant for the day. Here's some more information:

• Can Stress During Pregnancy Cause a Miscarriage?
• Research on Stress and Miscarriages
• Truths and Myths About Causes of Miscarriage

We all differ in when we feel ready to try again for a new pregnancy after a miscarriage. Some feel put off by the idea of pregnancy after a loss, wanting some time to recover and recuperate, regain strength, and work through the grief before being ready to face the idea of being pregnant again.

Others feel like waiting is unbearable and they want to be trying again starting yesterday. (I fell into this category.) Waiting just means a longer time of not being pregnant when you desperately wanted to be, and watching the time pass for when you should have been. A new pregnant feels like that clock starts over so that you at least have a new pregnancy to think about even if you are still grieving.

Doctors sometimes advise waiting, but for different reasons in different circumstances that vary among individuals, and often the most important factor is knowing when you and your partner are ready. So what has been your experience? Were you ready to be pregnant again right away, or did you need some time first? Share your stories.

Bleeding during pregnancy is never good news and always something that should be reported to a doctor, but it has different significance at different points in pregnancy. In the first trimester it might be a sign of miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy but might also occur in a normal pregnancy for a variety of reasons.

When bleeding happens later in pregnancy, however, it's never normal short of having a bloody show around the time your baby is due to be born. Always call the doctor right away if you are having later pregnancy spotting or bleeding to rule out complications that might threaten your baby.

More information:

• Bleeding in the Second and Third Trimester