Many pregnant women eagerly look forward to having ultrasounds, keeping the pictures as treasured mementos, but not every ultrasound ends in happy news. When the news is miscarriage, clinics vary widely in their practices -- some offer pictures to the mothers regardless of the news whereas others do not. What was your experience with ultrasound pictures after a miscarriage? Would you want ultrasound pictures from a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage?
A thousand words
- While so many people believe that a child is born upon their delivery, anyone who has ever conceived can tell you it is the moment you find out there is another person inside of you. Pictures, clippings, hospital bracelets, anything you can keep will become very important not only to the grieving period but also the period of growth. momentos are there to provide both comfort in the times that made us happy, and remembrance in our greatest moments of sorrow. I personally delivered perfectly healthy strong twins stillborn and have only my ultrasound photos and a pair of headstones to remember them by. The sound of a crying infant still tightens my throat, but I would not trade those pictures for anything. They were MY babies, and whether they made it all the way to me or not, they are still my babies. Everyone should be given the opportunity to have these pictures, and everyone who is given the opportunity should take it. A picture says a thousands words, and some say the ones you can't.
- I've had 3 miscarriages, all first trimester. I kept US pics from the first 2 but once the 3rd miscarriage happened, I pulled out all the pics and realized how depressing it was. The pics just reminded me of what I lost every time i looked at them. I now have a beautiful son and another on the way (thank God), but if I ever face a miscarriage again, I won't keep the pics. Way too sad for me :(
- —Guest Missy J
How do you go on?
- My first pregnancy; I had an U/S at 13 weeks and the tech. took a double take. According to the U/S I was only 8w 5d. Asked if my dates were off, I didn't think so. Had another U/S 4 days later and baby was 8w,1d. I was never offered a photo, didn't even think to ask as I was so upset. I wish I had one, this way at least I could always remember. I think this is up to each individual couple, whether or not to get a picture. Some people it might help heal quicker, others - such as myself, would still get emotionally upset. I had a D & A almost 2 weeks ago and am still distraught over the whole thing. I pray everyday that the bleeding stops and that my husband and I can try again really soon. For me, it doesn't seem like there is any light at the tunnel yet...I hope I'm wrong.
- —Guest Roxanne
Yes to pics
- I've read all the comments and my heart is breaking. I'm currently sat here with 5 pictures of my baby. But the last two are of it dead. I dont care about that, it is my baby and I love it no matter what. I need these pictures. I need to know in my mind that this wanted baby existed not just in my womb but in our lives too. I've got to deliver it on Fri next week and the hospital have offered me photos afterwards. Strange but I requested it and they do it routinely. This baby, I think it was girl so we named her Caitlyn, but when I get to see her I hope she was developed enough to try and see the sex. Don't refuse the pictures. Put them away if you can't deal with that yet. But one day you might want the reassurance in your own mind that your baby really did exist. Baby dust and love too all xxx
- —Guest dante2002
Not even a choice
- When I went for my first ultrasound I was not even offered pictures and never even got to see the screen. I was 7 weeks but the gest. sac was only 5w4d. Now I'm going through a miscarriage and I guess since I never saw anything I kind of feel detached it's awful. There is not even closure.
- —Guest SgtG8tes
- I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. I had ultrasound done at 8 weeks discovering I had twins. I think it can be a comfort to have the US pictures. It is a reminder, maybe sad at first but can be sweet, after all. I was devastated to find out I lost my girls, so was my partner, but we kept the pictures and named the girls. I feel it can be a way to say Goodbye and a closure to what happened. They are not just embryos, they are tiny lives growing inside, unique. I guess we are all different on how we cope, but I know my mom had many miscarriages before she had me never kept any of the photos. She said it was easier for her after all. She now has 3 kids. I guess for me, after having a stillbirth at 36weeks, and a miscarriage. I do not yet have children of my own, so I hold those memories close of my children born to Heaven. One day I will see them. RIP my beautiful children, I love you.
- —Guest Jessibell
- After grieving painfully for 3 months, and counting, I definitely wish I would've had the guts to ask for a picture, or would've been offered. There's nothing to keep that memory alive, or even proof that it happened. I miscarried at 10 wks, in March. My first pregnancy. It's upsetting, because my bf didn't come with me, and this was my first ultrasound, and I was amazed to see this baby inside me, even without a heartbeat. But he never got to see that :(
- —Guest Micaela
- I just lost my baby to a miscarriage. A few weeks old. I went to first appointment and my baby was gone. I still took the pic of the developing embryo. And it hurts so much. How can something so precious be taken away?
- —Guest jakboo
Should be offered
- I have no pictures from the first miscarriage, since the sac was empty. I have pictures of the second lost baby with heartbeat at 8 weeks, but not from the following ultrasound which showed no heartbeat at 10 weeks. If I didn't have the picture from 8 weeks, I would have wanted the one at 10 weeks. Even if he was dead, he was still real.
- —Guest Jennifer
Pictures are memories
- Pictures are very important and my baby is not just dead fetus like mentioned above. It was my baby! I lost two babies, one at 12 weeks, one at 15 weeks. They had arms, legs, fingers and toes. To me the ultrasound pics help to know my babies. Even though they passed before they were born they touched me and my husband in ways that I cannot express with words. Loving my babies always, 8.20.09 & 4.29.10, I will carry you in my heart.
- —Guest Kerry
- I went to the hospital for a scan at 18Weeks and the baby had no heartbeat. Me and my partner were devastated. We got offered pictures but we did not take them as we were too upset. I am still glad we did not. We will always remember our baby boy. We conceived our daughter two months later which means some things just aren't meant to be and others are.
- —Guest No
I have a pictures from the 2nd
- In 2006, I had a blighted ovum which ended up in miscarriage. Then in 2008, I had an US that showed the heartbeat. Then a week later, the US showed the baby with no heartbeat. I kept the picture from this one. I am keeping my fingers crossed. It is heart wrenching and their are no words to express your loss.
- —Guest Kel
- I'm a doctor, but not an OB. I was so happy when my pregnancy had a heartbeat and normal measurements at 7wks. I went for a follow up visit at 10wks, and there was no heartbeat with gestational age measuring at 9wks. I definitely did not want these pictures, and now I cannot get the image of the fetus out of my head- arms, legs, nose and motionless. I immediately threw away my pictures from the 7wk ultrasound when I got home. Nobody wants pictures of a dead fetus. Ridiculous question.
- —Guest jenni
Didn't know what I was doing at first
- I ended up miscarrying at 7 weeks. I knew it was happening, and happened before I could get to the Dr. I ended up miscarrying twins, so I thought. I took a picture of it in the toilet and at first thought what am I doing. Well the next morning I miscarried another one and now wish I had a pic of the triplet.
- —Guest Kayla
- I was suffering severe abdomen pain and vaginal bleeding but it never dawned on me that I was miscarrying! When I went to the emergency room they did several ultrasounds and tests and everyone was very quiet. Finally I was told that a heartbeat was not found and that my pregnancy was terminated. I was almost three months and it was completely devastating. I was so ready to be a mother and had been looking for baby things only to find out that I would not be having a baby after all. I will say that it was not in GOD'S plan for me to be a mother and I believe when the time is right things will happen for me. I was not offered any ultrasound pictures and I was too shocked to ask for any. I regret not asking because now I will never know anything. My mind will always wonder what would have been and I must say that it is greatly depressing!