Mother's Day Card Ideas After Pregnancy Loss

If someone you love is facing Mother's Day after a pregnancy loss, you may want to recognize her in some special way. It can be hard to know just what to do or say, though.

A card is a simple, thoughtful way to say you’re thinking of your loved one. If you’re not comfortable with any of the pre-printed options available at the drugstore, you can always choose a blank card, or even make one of your own.

Before making the decision, it's a good idea to consult someone closest to the bereaved, if it's appropriate to do so, such as a sibling or partner. They may have better insight about whether your loved one is up to receive messages, however well-meant, or whether they prefer to be left to grieve in private.

Try to tailor your message to the recipient. Not every mom is religious, or comfortable with the idea of her baby being an angel. Others might be questioning whether or not it’s even OK to recognize the holiday. Trust your instincts and choose words that feel natural and appropriate to you.

Below you’ll find suggestions for simple messages to include in the card.

Places to Look for Inspiration

Poems. Whether you find an already published poem or come across one written by a grieving parent, there is a lot of lovely poetry about love and loss. There are even some specific to the topic of Mother's Day.

Songs. It seems like popular music tackles the topic of loss more than any other kind of creative expression. Some songs are entirely appropriate, while others may have just a line or two that speak to you. 

Photos or Paintings. Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words. If you’re having trouble finding the right thing to say, you can always include a photograph or print of a painting that captures your feelings.

Write Something Personal. If you can find the right words to express how you’re feeling, a personal note is always appreciated. Unless you know the person's state of mind, it's probably best to keep your sentiments supportive, yet general. Avoid making statements like "it was God's will" or other presumptions about how the person must feel because that's not likely to comfort them. Some suggestions for what to say:

General

• Thinking of you this Mother's Day.
• I’m here if you need an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or a hand to hold.
• You are in our hearts and minds this Mother's Day.
• Wishing you strength and peace this Mother's Day.
• I love you.
• You can always count on me.

From a Husband to a Wife

• I am so happy I married you.
• Together we are strong enough to get through this. I love you.

From a Mother to her Daughter

• I am so proud of the woman you have become.
• I wish I could make things easier for you, and I hope you know I am always here for you.
• You are strong and beautiful and I love you.

However, you decide to express your sympathy, realize that the recipient may not be ready to acknowledge them. Don't press for a response or feel hurt if you don't get a "thank you" right away. Pregnancy loss is a difficult experience for anyone to go through, but expressions of love and support from friends can help let the bereaved know they're not alone.